ANYway I am writing in response to GIRLS.   In the midst of trying to finish graduate school in Denver and move back to NYC I have been getting tons of calls and emails about Lena Dunham’s new show GIRLS on HBO.

“So GIRLS is basically Hot Mess. That sucks”     Wow friend- thank you so much! This is so helpful. Now that I know, I’ll be sure to dump four years of hard work and our upcoming 3^rd season and go back to data entry. Thank god I got your email in time.

I gotta say- at first I was a little threatened. For like 2 minutes. I had never heard of Lena because her first film Tiny Furniture came out while I was in year 2 of grad  school and was worried I’d never be able to master the craft of playing a saggy-breasted Grandma in Chekhov.   Wow – how priorities shift.   But then I watched her film and I was so excited and proud to have her as a fellow filmmaker in this era of funny femme centric content.  The film is really well done. I loved her style. But also sighed with relief because it’s not mine. At all.

Saying that our shows are mutually exclusive or whatever- is like saying The Office & Park and Rec are as well.  Or more accurately The Big Bang Theory and Two & Half Men; they both star men under 40 who are not GQ models. (save Ashton- that’s another convo.  Also I’ve never seen either show so don’t correct me, k? thanks.)    Simply because our shows feature real life young women- dealing with real life situations does not make them the same. I understand that it’s hard for many people who are not used to such shocking camera shots as an attractive girl on the toilet.  But believe it or not- women can do more than 3 funny things on camera! I know–I just got the memo- I was shocked too!!! HBO’s Girls- is a great show about 4 young women trying to figure it all out. What they want? How to get it?  Hot Mess is about women who think life is great. We prance through NYC on a sunny fall day with a hot cup of fancy coffee and our ipod playing Kelly Clarkson, and then just as we think “This is it- I have arrived”- we ram into a 300 lb. construction worker,  spilling our hot bev all over his white shirt causing him to growl.  Girls stars actresses with famous parents, and deals with what happens when your rich ‘rents financially cut you off.    Our parents have never financially supported us in the city. We worked at Sonic at age 15 to earn gas money. (FYI- I was a terrible car hop- I am afraid of Coney dogs and visors to this day)   Lena’s mom is a famous artist and probably exposed her to incredible things growing up, let alone an amazing apartment to film her first movie in. MY dad is a professional banjo player, renowned throughout the Midwest. (See this clip) My mother once left her purse on an MTA bus and chased it down the street banging on the door to stop the bus in traffic and retrieve her wallet. (Disclaimer- I love my parents- they rock. They are super smart democrats who happen to live in a land locked red state)

The main point I want to make is Lena’s show is semi-autobiographical.  It’s realistic, its dark, it’s edgy. It’s daily life told without polish. Hot Mess is scripted Non-Fiction. It’s about extraordinary true stories and survival. We are devoted to creating scripts of real stories, as they actually happened.  Girls is to Studio 60 on The Sunset Strip as Hot Mess is to 30 Rock. So relax everyone, this is good news for Hot Mess.    Shows like this get bloggers and critics talking about funny stuff made by women- and therefore us. It keeps us in the conversation and will hopefully get us in the room with a Network or major producer.

I think a lot of  people want women to find each other threatening, it’s just like watching kittens wrestle – but hotter.  To me, that is totally counterintuitive to what we, the women, want.  If we are focused on what is happening between us in things like “Who wore it best” etc., then we don’t see the evil TV exec with the greased back hair and the scary underscoring stealing our ideas and turning them into bad shows that fail because we weren’t involved. I have always been big on this and so has Tiny Fey-

“People are going to try and trick you. To make you feel that you are in competition with one another.  ‘You’re up for a promotion. If they go with a woman it will be between you and Barbara.’ Don’t be fooled. You’re not in competition with other women. You’re in competition with everyone……a bunch of us suggested that (women) collaborate instead of compete.”  – Bossypants

In an awesome Ted Talk about women in politics and leadership, Madeline Albright said “There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help each other.”  I agree. I refuse to find other talented women threatening.  They inspire me and give me hope.   Sex in the City,  The Golden Girls, and Mary Tyler Moore made way for all us.  And I see no reason why show’s like Girls and Lena Dunham who is already connected and famous can’t make room for Hot Mess and for me- who is not all connected or famous- but determined, optimistic,  and able to survive on payless shoes and generic shampoo. (the 99-cent kind)

Though I do love that in our press photos Lena and I seem to strike the same “I have to pee, I have a UTI and I can’t get a cab” pose.   I hope to meet this exciting woman soon.  Until then, hang tight.   Hot Mess is picking back up this summer and lots of exciting stuff to come. Tell your friends, stay tuned, and don’t loan me anything fragile or of value.  Over and out.   ps: If anyone is related to, sleeping with, or has met  the following people – please forward onto them. Lorne Michaels, Judd Apatow, Tina Fey, Mary Tyler Moore, Amy Poehler, Liz Meriwether, Hulu, Netflix, CBS, NBC, ABC, FOX, Showtime, Darren Star, Oprah, Ellen DeGeneres, & Katherine Pope

A friend told me (after watching our Valentine’s Special, “Someone”) about a friend who was shopping at Home Depot for new blinds. There was a really nice guy helping her pick out just the right size for her windows and type and color to compliment the room. She was very excited about how it would change the look of her space and was feeling positive about her initiative to make her home better. And just when she thought she had it all worked out, she asked “How do I go about installing these?”, and the sales dude replied…”Oh, just get your boyfriend to put them up for you!”

crickets.

She tried to respond, but what came next can only be described as WATERWORKS. Yes, she burst into tears in the middle of the Home Depot, in front of her sales guy. Making Mary Tyler Moore proud

Everyone needs some Hot Mess in their life because it makes you:
A. Feel a little better about yourself knowing that someone else is going through the same shit
B. Laugh about how ridiculously awful these situaltions are
C. Grateful that it’s been bad but NEVER been THAT bad
D. Remind yourself that the shit can be hitting the fan, but your hair still looks good
E. All of the above

“I accidentally shoplifted a jar of pickles from the store today because they rolled under Stella’s carrier in the grocery cart. When I realized my mistake in the parking lot Jack began to yell, “MOM! YOU DIDN’T PAY FOR THE PICKLES!!! MOM! YOU STOLE THOSE PICKLES!” 5 people staring equaled me unloading both kids (Stella is screaming her head off) and going back in to pay for the damn pickles. $1.05 later we were all back in the car (Stella is still screaming) and Jack says, “They should have arrested you mommy.” *sigh* Thanks buddy….”

Ok just click on this link: http://indieintertube.tv/#axzz1lFOPJBIx

Then then look on the lower right corner of the page. 

Ok now that I have tricked you into reading, entertained you with a video, and patronized you a screenshot and arrows. GO VOTE. ALL LOT. EVERY 3 SECONDS!!!  SAVE THE CLOCKTOWER!!!

—————-

Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets or purse. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized, I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My husband, John, has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. His theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the doors of the church, I came to a terrifying conclusion. His theory was right. The parking lot was empty.  I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call of all,”Honey,” I stammered. I always call him honey in times like these. “I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen.”    There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard John’s voice. “Alice,” he barked, “I dropped you off.” Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.”

John retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car.”

Our 1st Place Photo Winner with the Most Votes is:

Becca!

Becca got the most votes legitimate votes out of the whole contest- and while she did not submit a Hot Mess Story with her entry, we loved the naughty look on her face and can only assume this was the first of many glasses of bubbly that resulted in her not remembering all the Hot Mess stuff she did that night.

Becca,WE SALUTE YOU!

She will receive a Case of Champagne, a Make Up Kit from Vapor Organic Beauty, & a Hollywood Fashion Secrets Package! Congrats!

Our Story Winner goes to:

Meg for  ”Shrooms in theChampagne Room”

Here is the story from her hilarious entry!

As I was getting sufficiently wasted at my friend’s house party which included all of my closest friends from nyc and my closest friends from my hometown in CT where I grew up, a good friend handed me some chocolate. Little did I know, it was laced with mushrooms. As I went throughout the night, I tripped on this fur rug which I adopted as a scarf, I held a pink balloon in my mouth which I would blow up at everyone, and there a gigantic blow out fight with a mixture of guys from home v. guys from nyc. I missed the entire thing and upon seeing my good friend as I was coming out of a room, apparently tripping and sipping champagne alone, I noticed he looked all puffed up. I complimented his muscles and he told me had just punched someone in the face. Everyone looked at me in disgrace for being so aloof, but I just held tightly to my rug and did a jaguar impression on the couch.

I woke up on the futon the next morning spooning with my girlfriend Brittney, and her boyfriend. Happy 2012, bitches.

Amy: So you got back from the funeral safe and sound?

Cheri: Yes, I’m tired, but it was nice to go home.

Amy: in North Carolina right?

Cheri: Yes, my Grandmother was there for the last few years.

Amy: How was the service?

Cheri: Really lovely. Everyone was so nice.

Amy: Oh yea- I figured you must have run into some old friend b/c we got a random Twitter follower from Charlotte, NC today.

Cheri: Oh yea?

Amy: I thought, how cool- Hot Mess must have come up at the service.

Cheri: Oh send the twitter link.

Amy: just did.

Cheri: Amy – I don’t know this person……oh…wait. Amy this is porn. its spam for porn.

Amy: Oh. oops. ……ummm..my bad…. Sorry for your loss?

WARNING: A Bottle of Wine plus 3 inch heels- may result it catastrophe. Go for it!!!!!

Last night Miss Cheri and I had the pleasure of attending the Organic Beauty Bar event at Buddha Nose!  There was wine a-flowin’, lovely women in attendance and organic beauty products in abundance.  Neither Cheri or I had dinner so we made sure to drink as much wine as possible in true Hot Mess style.  Speaking of Hot Mess style, I have to mention that there was a woman in attendance who was either so drunk or sooo high on meds (all of the above??) that she was dozing while standing, nearly fell over and was gracefully and discreetly escorted out by the amazing and BEAUTIFUL Buddha Nose owner, Amy Galper.  We thank our woozy boozy friend for raising the Hot Mess bar so high for the event, that Cheri and I had no concern for matching it ourselves.

We got some knowledge dropped on us about organic beauty products by the gorgeous and brilliant Karim Orange!  Karim, BTW, is a phenomoinal makeup artist and nationally known natural cosmetics expert, celebrity personal care products artist and two-time Emmy Award nominee.    Please check her out – she can even give you a “virtual” make – over lesson using your picture!  Soo easy without making a dent in your schedule and we here at Hot Mess love that.  However, since we were there in person and all, she gave Miss Cheri a makeover using our favorite beauty product company Vapour Organic Beauty!  Vapour we love you!!  I was proud to already be sporting my Vapour products on my crazy mug, but you can see a pic here of Cheri getting her Vapour on.  WORD!

Speaking of Vapour, did we mention that they will be donating a beauty package for our New Year’s promotion that you, the reader, might be able to win?  More on that coming soon!

Thank you to Vapour, Karim and Buddha Nose for letting Hot Mess be a part of the event!