Ok just click on this link: http://indieintertube.tv/#axzz1lFOPJBIx

Then then look on the lower right corner of the page. 

Ok now that I have tricked you into reading, entertained you with a video, and patronized you a screenshot and arrows. GO VOTE. ALL LOT. EVERY 3 SECONDS!!!  SAVE THE CLOCKTOWER!!!

—————-

Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets or purse. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized, I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My husband, John, has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. His theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the doors of the church, I came to a terrifying conclusion. His theory was right. The parking lot was empty.  I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call of all,”Honey,” I stammered. I always call him honey in times like these. “I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen.”    There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard John’s voice. “Alice,” he barked, “I dropped you off.” Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.”

John retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car.”

Our 1st Place Photo Winner with the Most Votes is:

Becca!

Becca got the most votes legitimate votes out of the whole contest- and while she did not submit a Hot Mess Story with her entry, we loved the naughty look on her face and can only assume this was the first of many glasses of bubbly that resulted in her not remembering all the Hot Mess stuff she did that night.

Becca,WE SALUTE YOU!

She will receive a Case of Champagne, a Make Up Kit from Vapor Organic Beauty, & a Hollywood Fashion Secrets Package! Congrats!

Our Story Winner goes to:

Meg for  ”Shrooms in theChampagne Room”

Here is the story from her hilarious entry!

As I was getting sufficiently wasted at my friend’s house party which included all of my closest friends from nyc and my closest friends from my hometown in CT where I grew up, a good friend handed me some chocolate. Little did I know, it was laced with mushrooms. As I went throughout the night, I tripped on this fur rug which I adopted as a scarf, I held a pink balloon in my mouth which I would blow up at everyone, and there a gigantic blow out fight with a mixture of guys from home v. guys from nyc. I missed the entire thing and upon seeing my good friend as I was coming out of a room, apparently tripping and sipping champagne alone, I noticed he looked all puffed up. I complimented his muscles and he told me had just punched someone in the face. Everyone looked at me in disgrace for being so aloof, but I just held tightly to my rug and did a jaguar impression on the couch.

I woke up on the futon the next morning spooning with my girlfriend Brittney, and her boyfriend. Happy 2012, bitches.

Amy: So you got back from the funeral safe and sound?

Cheri: Yes, I’m tired, but it was nice to go home.

Amy: in North Carolina right?

Cheri: Yes, my Grandmother was there for the last few years.

Amy: How was the service?

Cheri: Really lovely. Everyone was so nice.

Amy: Oh yea- I figured you must have run into some old friend b/c we got a random Twitter follower from Charlotte, NC today.

Cheri: Oh yea?

Amy: I thought, how cool- Hot Mess must have come up at the service.

Cheri: Oh send the twitter link.

Amy: just did.

Cheri: Amy – I don’t know this person……oh…wait. Amy this is porn. its spam for porn.

Amy: Oh. oops. ……ummm..my bad…. Sorry for your loss?

WARNING: A Bottle of Wine plus 3 inch heels- may result it catastrophe. Go for it!!!!!

Last night Miss Cheri and I had the pleasure of attending the Organic Beauty Bar event at Buddha Nose!  There was wine a-flowin’, lovely women in attendance and organic beauty products in abundance.  Neither Cheri or I had dinner so we made sure to drink as much wine as possible in true Hot Mess style.  Speaking of Hot Mess style, I have to mention that there was a woman in attendance who was either so drunk or sooo high on meds (all of the above??) that she was dozing while standing, nearly fell over and was gracefully and discreetly escorted out by the amazing and BEAUTIFUL Buddha Nose owner, Amy Galper.  We thank our woozy boozy friend for raising the Hot Mess bar so high for the event, that Cheri and I had no concern for matching it ourselves.

We got some knowledge dropped on us about organic beauty products by the gorgeous and brilliant Karim Orange!  Karim, BTW, is a phenomoinal makeup artist and nationally known natural cosmetics expert, celebrity personal care products artist and two-time Emmy Award nominee.    Please check her out – she can even give you a “virtual” make – over lesson using your picture!  Soo easy without making a dent in your schedule and we here at Hot Mess love that.  However, since we were there in person and all, she gave Miss Cheri a makeover using our favorite beauty product company Vapour Organic Beauty!  Vapour we love you!!  I was proud to already be sporting my Vapour products on my crazy mug, but you can see a pic here of Cheri getting her Vapour on.  WORD!

Speaking of Vapour, did we mention that they will be donating a beauty package for our New Year’s promotion that you, the reader, might be able to win?  More on that coming soon!

Thank you to Vapour, Karim and Buddha Nose for letting Hot Mess be a part of the event!

During the big Fezziwig dance in Act I, my expensive mic pack for the lav mic embedded in my wig fell off. It’s sort of a velcro belt. I assume because of the bagel I ate before the show, I was a few inches wider in girth.  So when I took a breath at the beginning of the number I burst the velcro and the belt and mic pack began to slide down my waist and legs- the mic still embedded in my giant wig.  I found a still moment- during Mrs. Fezziwigs big solo – and shimmied the belt down to my feet- hoping no one would notice the hip girations going on stage left. Then I was able to reach down and scoop it up with a big chunk of my skirt. So while I looked rather unlady like hiking up the side of my skirt for half the dance, I had the expensive equipement safely in hand. Then in slow motion freeze section I was able to run off stage to a someone in wardrobe. Without saying a word in front of 5 crew members- I threw my skirt over my head and bent over so they could reatach the belt in the 10 seconds I had left.  I essentailly mooned everyone backstage- much to their amusement. As I ran back  on to finish the number one costume leaned over and he said. “Well that was impressive, but I have one question – what was written on her underware?”  And I kid you not folks- the left cheek said “HOT” and the right “MESS.”

One our sponsors for and upcoming contest, Vapour Organic Beauty, are hosting a great event on Thursday Dec 15th in NYC!

“No More Dirty Looks” Free Make-Overs from Vapour Organic Beauty
Karim Orange will do mini Vapour Organic Beauty makeovers.
Siobhan O’Connor the co-author of NO MORE DIRTY LOOKS will be on hand to do a book signing and speak about organic beauty at the beginning of the evening!
R.S.V.P. Now for your very own Vapour Mini Makeover!
RSVP info@buddhanose.com

Refreshments will be provided by : FREY WINE www.freywine.com & LARABAR whole food bars http://www.larabarstore.com/

Make Overs Performed By Karin Orangehttp://www.agentorangenow.com/bio.html

Agent Orange

www.agentorangenow.com

http://www.facebook.com/NoMoreDirtyLooks?sk=app_132206166799214

No More Dirty Looks | About

The Truth About Your Beauty Products and the Ultimate Guide to Safe and Clean Cosmetics

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Hope you had a great week with your new iphone that you stole from me last Monday. Sorry it’s taken me so long to write you- I’ve been super busy being a starving artist/student trying to make phone calls from my gmail yelling at computer in Internet cafes sounding like a crazy person- SO FUN.  Hope you thoroughly enjoyed the $70 worth of Slurpees you bought at 7-11 before I cancelled that credit card you swiped as well. Not gonna lie, Mommathang, $70 at 7-11 is pretty damn klassy– way to impress this Hot Mess. Wow that rhymed. look at that lil Miss- you inspire me to poetry. Best friends forever!!!!!

Ok back to why I’m writing. I’m a little concerned that you don’t understand how it works with ladies who are friends with men- who don’t want to sleep with them b/c they like to sleep with other men. Crazy I know – just go with me on this one. See when you stole my iphone you responded to some facebook messages for me.   So sweet-I really appreciate the help. But when my friend Steve sent this great new preview for SMASH – a musical drama that celebrates the beauty and heartbreak of the Broadway theater, Fabulous right!?,  you responded to him by saying this:

“Idk ur a creeper and I could do sooooo much better than ur broke queer ass…”

Girl….come on, I mean I know our previous messages involve me saying things like “make and honest woman out me” &  ”i think we should be exclusive” . But COME ON clearly I’m not sleeping with this one! Our other messages are about drunkenly crashing a sing-a-long after too much boxed wine & he sent me a clip about MUSICAL THEATER! Clearly we’re not dating. If you are gonna be my pseudo- secretary I’m gonna need you to pay a little more attention to detail.

But then you missed the boat again!!!! So my other friend who also happens to fall in the category of boys “who lie with mankind as they should lie with womankind” , messaged my iphone via ichat not text message. Which means that the texts went  to you, not me. #Oops  But this convo concerns me.

Kevin: Love you! Did you get my message?

Amy (you): I love you, really but…

Kevin: what?

Amy (you): Sike! Love you??

Kevin: Amy?

Amy (you): oh, really tho I don’t. I don’t want someone who even think if they liked me over a friend and I’m not into you… Also idk who this even is.

First all- you should proof read. People think you don’t speak English if you don’t, I know this from personal experience. Second of all- You were like trying to break us up? Silly rabbit- it’s not “THAT” kind of love. Kevin is one of my best friends & former roommate- Like Laverne and Shirley. See? but thanks for trying to creatively dump him for me. Girl, I know you always got my back.

But wait we’re not done yet- then it got dirty.  My other friend Matt, also Gay- but you couldn’t have known that, so no worries. Well things got pretty heated between you two. Here I included the full convo for you.

     I gotta say the use of  telling people “the truth” in ironic fashion, is funny. Funny because you’re a thief, which means you claim other people’s property as your own, which is living a lie, which is the opposite of the truth. Deep shit right?  Well all this “Veanna sausage talk” got me a lil hungry. By the way it’s spelled “VIENNA”. Looks like somebody went to community college!!! j/k . Friends forever!

So all this chat got me kinda hungry. So Matt, “centimeter peter”  to you, and I went on a field trip to the mall to get a pretzel and stop by the Apple store. And look what he showed me how to do!!!

So now the phone is useless.  Which is funny, because had you been a “lil” more stealth and less of hot mess I would have never been prompted to lock you out of the phone. But since you can’t successfully identify a homosexual best friend – that rules you out of the super fun Hot Mess girls club.   So I guess this is goodbye lil Miss. Momathang -Best of luck to you.  I’m gonna eat my cinnamon and sugar pretzel and get it all over myself  in public, cause that’s how I roll.

Don’t ever change, you’re pathetic, HAGS, get a life, keep it real, go f*#k yourself, best friends forever Momathang!!!!!

XOXO

Amy